How I fared as a leader?

3 weeks ago, I received an urgent email from my Scout leader that they required additional manpower for an upcoming leadership training camp. I didn’t give a reply to that email as I wasn’t sure if I was able to take time off to help out due to NS commitments. Besides, I didn’t know if I was going to be of any help as I had already left Scouts for 4 years.

However, even after I have managed to get my leave approved, I was still hesitant as I was unsure if any of my peers are going to be able to make it for the camp. To be honest, I didn’t want to be alone with the rest of the Adult Leaders. So, I waited till the the very last minute before I confirmed my attendance.

Truthfully speaking, I wasn’t that comfortable in being appointed as an instructor as I didn’t think I was up to the job. I didn’t know how much of my limited Scouting knowledge I could impart to the younger Scouts that would benefit them. During the camp, I find myself taking a backseat most of the time, probably because there were other instructors around to keep things running.

I don’t think I’ve been a good leader as I was overly reliant on my fellow instructors to run the show. Over the course of the camp, I realized that I tend to be a better observer than doer. Maybe I prefer to sit back and watch how things are being carried out instead of doing them myself. And I guess it’s because of that that I have refused to take on a leadership position in NS.

Over my schooling years, I’d been offered opportunities to become a school leader but I had steadfastly rejected them because I felt that I worked better with a small group than in a larger one. And this rings true because I have taken up smaller leadership roles and performed well in these duties. We are all leaders in our own ways and mine entails putting myself in the shoes of my members to see how things can be made better.