I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.

Wise words from the late Robin Williams. Death is inevitably a lonesome affair. To me, death per se is not scary; it’s the thought of spending those final days alone because there’ll come a day when my friends depart and my closest are no longer around. Dying alone, whether figuratively or not, is undoubtedly an unsettling thought.

The recent decline in my Grandma’s health spurred me to think about how my life would be half a century later. From an active woman who could single-handedly manage the household in the 90s, a series of falls in recent years had reduced her to a shadow of her former self. Today, she can hardly sit up on her own. But thankfully, she has us around to look after her needs.

When I’m old and frail, I too hope I’ll have loved ones by my side to see me through to the end. Call me selfish but I’ll rather be that than to be miserable and lonely on my death bed, regretting the decisions of my younger self. The fear of dying alone stems from not having someone to spend the rest of my life with. Hopefully, I don’t have to face up to this fear any more.